- Appendicitis pain isn't really that bad, at least for me. I'd always heard it was a double-over, scream in agony pain, but I learned that sort of pain is assigned to childbirth, kidney stones, and paper cuts on the tongue from licking an envelope.
- Appendicitis pain is like gas pain, although the flatulence kind rather than that inflicted at the gas pump.
- Physicians use palpitation, blood tests, and cat-scans to confirm the diagnosis.
- You don't need to bring your own cat, but it is always nice to bring a pal.
- Apparently the appendix is a mobile organ. The surgeon stabbed four holes in my belly looking for it.
- The surgeon told me later the appendix that attacked me didn't dangle from my lower bowel but escaped to a hide out somewhere behind my lower bowel.
- General anesthesia may cause short-term memory loss, or delusions. I cannot remember the name of the beautiful nurse who constantly flirted with me.
- The amount of inert gas injected into an abdomen to accomplish keyhole surgery is nearly the same amount required to inflate Donald Trump's ego.
- Liquid diets include Cream of Wheat but not Crème de menthe, Malt-O-Meal but not Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch Whisky.
- If you're on a liquid diet, haven't eaten since Saturday night, and it is Tuesday evening, it is possible to eat cream-of-chicken soup and remain a vegetarian.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Ten Things You Learn When Your Appendix Attacks You
at 4:29 PM